spooderman pants somebody

A tall human stood near the living room rug wearing loose gray sweatpants over their workout shorts. The long hem dragged against the floorboards. I determined they required immediate saving. I wiggled all my fingers very fast to activate full hero strength. I charged forward across the wood and seized the loose fabric of the pant leg with both hands, pulling down with all my weight. The sudden yank caused the elastic waistband to slide down to their knees over their shorts. I immediately rotated ninety degrees and stared blankly at a knot in the baseboard. The human pulled their sweatpants back up and walked away. I planted my feet wide and thumped my chest three times. Thump, thump, thump.