The Floor Geyser

I marched back indoors and stopped dead in my tracks as a sudden roar of warm air rushed up from the floorboards! Right beneath my feet was a slotted bronze heating vent blasting like a subterranean volcanic geyser. Naturally, I threw my arms out in a grand theatrical flourish, bracing to be launched into the stratosphere. When the floor didn't explode, practical luxury took over. I planted both boots firmly on the warm metal rim, settled right onto the toasty slats, and let the rising thermal breeze warm me up from head to toe. Best VIP seat in the entire house!