Vocal Rehearsal

I hauled a gleaming stainless steel soup spoon from the drying rack, gripping its slender handle like a vintage broadcast microphone. Ambushing empty corners could wait—a true stage villain requires impeccable vocal projection! Clambering atop an upturned wooden recipe box, I straightened my bow tie, cleared my throat, and gave the spoon head two sharp diagnostic taps. *Tink, tink.* The acoustics were sublime. Drawing in a deep breath, I launched into theatrical vocal scales, gliding from a low, subterranean rumble up to a soaring operatic trill that rattled the cabinet doors. I held the dramatic vibrato until my plush chest heaved, finishing with a grand bow to the spice jars.