A Decisive Sorting

I discovered an elevated sorting chute spanning across an abandoned logistics bay, its mechanical diverter arm positioned like a sceptre awaiting my command. Naturally, I strutted right up to the heavy switch bar, threw back my head, and kicked the release lever down to set the line in motion! With an awful screeching clatter, a heavy cast-iron sorting flap swung upward on rusted springs, slamming directly toward my shin guards! 'Wait—mercy! I yield the freight sector! Spare my stabilizers!' I shrieked, instantly tumbling backward onto my rear thrusters and ducking flat behind a dented steel hopper. When it merely shuddered to a gentle stop against the guard peg, I stood tall and flicked a smudge of grease off my forearm. Hmph! A calculated test of mechanical responsiveness, executed with flawless aerial agility, obviously.