Cap'n Harry's Oak Cutlass

I squeezed me round belly right through the cracked patio door and stepped out onto the uncharted stone slabs of the back garden! Me plush toes felt the cold, rough pavers, but a fierce pirate doesn't turn tail. Right beside an overgrown terra-cotta pot, me sharp eyes spotted proper armaments—a curved, sturdy oak twig with a natural knot for a hilt, looking just like a cutlass! I clamped both stubby paws round the bark, heaved it up, and gave the air a mighty swashbuckling slash to claim the whole patio. A dry brown leaf crumbled right beneath me blade. A real captain needs steel, and now I'm armed to the teeth!