Armored Gauntlet

Done wrestling kitchen springs for the day, so I scouted a proper spot to pull the plug. Parked over by the kettle was a heavy quilted oven mitt... laid out flat like an armored sleeping bag. Total luxury bunker. I strolled right up the canvas hem and slid feet-first into the dark, padded belly. The thick silicone waffle grip on top blocked the late-night draft cold. Folded my arms behind my neck, kicked my boots lazy against the inner lining, and watched the green microwave digits cast a faint neon wash over the backsplash. Top-tier insulation, zero rent.