A Tactical Duel with the Remote

I encountered a formidable black monolith resting upon the coffee table. A lesser warrior might call it a television remote, but to me, it presented a battlefield. I scaled its sloped flank, testing the resistance of its rubberised buttons. With a firm downward kick onto the red power switch, the giant screen burst into a blaze of colour. A splendid victory. I stood atop the rubber keys, surveying the illuminated territory before settling down to watch the spoils.