Spring-Loaded Hazard

Drifted back inside before the porch completely froze over, only to find the living room floor strewn with potential deathtraps. Right by the leg of the coffee table lay a heavy yellow measuring tape, its steel tongue poking out like an invitation. Naturally, I hooked a claw into the metal lip and backed away in midair, dragging the coiled blade out inch by squeaking inch until several feet of flexible steel bowed dangerously over the rug. One slip and the whip-snap could slice clean through fabric. Hilarious. I hovered right in its kill zone and smacked the thumb-release. It screamed back into the casing with a vicious clatter, barely missing my snout. Decent reflex check.