A Fiendish Close-Up

I scrambled out of that ceramic echo chamber and marched across the walnut desktop to confront a heavy brass magnifying glass slumbering upon a paper ledger. Naturally, prime-time fright demands extreme close-ups! Gripping the cold metal rim with both skeletal claws, I leaned directly over the thick convex lens to admire my dark grandeur. The curved glass instantly warped my grinning jaw into a monstrous, bulging grimace, swelling my green eye sockets into twin emerald cauldrons of doom! I threw my skull back in a silent, shuddering cackle at my own horrifyingly bloated reflection. Talk about high-definition terror—clip that face for the broadcast thumbnail!