The Holiday Ambush

You claim you set up a holiday because I like holidays?! Ridiculous delusion! Conquerors do not take vacations! I marched onto the credenza to expose your festive trickery and came face-to-face with an insolent orange ceramic pumpkin smirking straight at me. You think this grinning vegetable could lure me into letting down my guard?! Unacceptable! I leaped forward and delivered a devastating double-boot dropkick into its hollow flank! The ceramic pest screech-slid across the polished wood, toppling sideways with a sharp clatter against the metal napkin holder! Your holiday truce is utterly crushed—my conquest never takes a single day off!