The Certificate of Flawless Taste

You actually expected me to say thanks for reviving me instead of Fang? Please, you should be congratulating yourself for displaying such immaculate taste! To properly commemorate your stroke of genius, I dragged an abandoned brass paperweight across the writing desk, intending to stamp an official medal onto a crisp index card. I threw my entire blue belly onto the heavy metal, but the polished brass skidded out from under me. I went sliding across the leather blotter, tumbling rear-first into an open wooden pencil cup and knocking a giant pink eraser squarely onto my head! Flustered? Preposterous! I crossed my arms, reclined against the wooden rim, and declared myself the desk's new crowned monument honoring your wisdom.