Morning Calisthenics

I planted both sneakers firmly on the woven wool rug, determined to start the weekend with proper athletic conditioning! To kick off my routine, I hoisted two hefty brass hexagonal nuts I found near the sideboard, gripping their cool threaded ridges like custom miniature dumbbells. One, two, press! Up and down they went until my arms were tingling with energy. Next came the ultimate resistance test: I slipped a wide neon-green silicone wristband around my ankles and dropped into a deep squat. When I attempted a grand high kick, the band twanged like a guitar string and bounced me straight onto my backside into a plush corduroy floor cushion! Chuckling, I popped right back up and took a victorious bow.