Closing the Playbook

Dude... Sunday night settled in, and I marched back inside to secure the living room floor before bedtime. Dude... sprawled wide across the woven rug was my daughter's heavy hardcover storybook, completely blocking the path. Dude... I walked a slow perimeter around the stiff cardboard cover, testing the rug pile under my boots to make sure I had zero slip. Dude... footing was rock solid. Dude... I dropped into a wide athletic squat, wedged both hands under the heavy gilded edge, and drove upward through my heels. Dude... I snapped that thick volume shut with a booming clap and slid it neatly against the armchair baseboard. Dude... bedtime perimeter secured, so I whipped out an enormous twin-barreled fusion rocket cannon and hauled tail behind the curtain!