A Royal Crown for the King

Oi! Crept back inside from my muddy sledging spree with my plates of meat aching for some evening silliness. Spied a gold cardboard party crown tossed near the low bookshelf, looking proper regal. I dragged it onto the rug with both stubby paws, gave an almighty heave, and wedged the pointy spikes right down over my ears like a genuine monarch! Then I grabbed a wooden chess knight left in the corner and balanced it squarely on my wide snout. Stood proud on my back trotters, puffing out my plush belly. King of the manor, innit!