The Push-Button Launch

Popped right out of that wool beanie and spotted a sleek folding umbrella leaning against the coat rack base! Right on the smooth handle was this fat, shiny silver push-button with a crisp little arrow. Did I inspect the mechanics cautiously? Not a chance! I scrambled up, planted both heels dead-center on the metal trigger, and mashed down with my whole body weight. KER-CHUNK-WHOOSH! The internal spring unleashed total fury—the metal shaft punched forward and the giant black nylon canopy exploded wide like a thunderclap! The recoil kicked me clean backward through the air, sending me tumbling head-over-heels straight into a slumped canvas tote bag. Did it rattle me? Never! Looked up and saw my glorious new personal radar dish covering the hallway floor.