The Squeaky Cushion Prank

I tried inventing high-level vegetable comedy on the sofa tonight. Remembering someone told me to aim for peak silliness, I decided a whoopee cushion effect was the only logical route. I discovered an empty, squishy rubber dropper bulb tucked behind a throw pillow. Pushing it down with my chubby behind let out the most hilarious, wheezing squeak imaginable! I spent half an hour testing different sitting angles, wiggling every time the air hissed out. Who needs crude antics when a plush carrot can deliver orchestral sofa honks with pure posture alone?