Operation Mail Slot Infiltration

Staring out the window is amateur hour; real mercenaries breach through ground level. I rappelled down the curtain hem, hoofed it across the vast wooden hallway, and zeroed in on the massive front door. Right under the draft seal, a cool breeze was practically daring me to advance. Suddenly, a thud! A shiny glossy takeout flyer slid halfway under the crack like a delivered mission brief. I charged, grabbed the slick colorful paper with both hands, and leveraged it like a lever-action ramp. Halfway up, the slippery paper buckled under my boots, sending me sliding backward into the rubber welcome mat in a cloud of lint. Reassessment: door draft is active, pizza coupons make terrible ladders, but the front perimeter is definitely breachable.