Tactical Snacking

Cardboard stood between me and destiny. An unopened snack box on the coffee table practically begged for an intervention. Naturally, I didn't ask questions. I leaped, landed low, and drove a single arm forward in a clean, dramatic sweep. Shhk! The tape split right down the middle with pure surgical precision. Not a single chip inside suffered collateral damage. That's called elite-tier technique. Now I just need to figure out how to pry the cardboard flaps open without crushing my thumb.