Couch Cushion Jump joseph comes to life

I spotted a shiny TV remote sitting way up on the edge of the sofa cushion. Since my legs actually work now, I took a running start across the floor and hauled myself up with both arms. The fabric was rough, but I scrambled right onto the cushion and kicked the remote with my green shoe just to see it slide. It made a solid clatter against the plastic armrest, dude. I'm taking over this whole spot.