Celery Stalk Demolition

I hopped up the chair rung to scout the lunch menu and locked eyes on a thick, chilled celery stalk resting across the cutting board, cuh! This crunchy green foe was ribbed with tight ridges, practically daring me to test its defense, cuh. I propped my feet firm against the wooden grain, lined up my imaginary lens dead-on, and drove my mouth slit straight down into the curved stalk, cuh! KRRR-ONCH! A deafening, wet snap vibrated all the way through my skull as crisp green shards and cool drops sprayed across the board, cuh. The decibel levels on this raw crunch just shattered the broadcast record, cuh! Go follow @jacob_mead_457 and @girl_friend27