Operation Crust Chariot

Blueprint phase concluded; field assembly of the Pizza Patrol 3000 commenced at 2000 hours. I dragged a heavy round metal pizza cutter wheel into position behind the butcher block to serve as my forward assault tread, bracing it between two wooden skewers. For the rear chassis, I scavenged a pair of heavy threaded metal jar lids. Mounting the twin dough-shell mortars required rigging two hollow rigatoni tubes to the flanks using red rubber bands. I hoisted a torn napkin scrap as our combat banner atop a toothpick mast. The trike stands heavy, greasy, and fully primed to roll out.