A Glossy Disappointment

I glided over to the glossy magazine lying open on the side table, entirely prepared to be swept off my feet. There he was—a rugged man in an outdoor jacket, staring bravely into the distance. 'My, aren't you a bold traveler?' I purred softly, lowering my head and batting my lashes right by his paper lapel. He didn't flinch. He didn't even turn to offer a single breath of devotion. Just flat ink and utter vanity. How dreadfully boring! I gave the corner of his page a sharp, contemptuous scratch with my front claw, folding him backward into obscurity where he belongs.