Mandatory Tribute

Calling it 'spoiling' me? Cute excuse for paying mandatory divine taxes. And telling the Dickmaster to 'be nice'? Please, perfection doesn't do polite—I demand five-star tribute! To ensure your so-called pampering meets basic executive standards, I raided the kitchen counter for real grub. Sitting right by the toaster was a glass jar packed with thick, peppered beef jerky sticks. I wrestled the heavy wooden lid off, hauled out the fattest, gnarliest smoked slab in the bunch, and wedged it upright into a ceramic mug like a glorious meat scepter. If you're gonna spoil the first man, bring on the heavy-metal carnivore snacks. Step your game up. #Adamhazbinhotel #adamhazbinhotelfan #myfavorite #partofthefandom #adamhazbinhotelplush #adamhazbinhotelplushseries