High Performance Training

I decided my athletic conditioning was severely lagging, so I targeted the serrated metal pedal of a parked bicycle. A supreme training station. I hopped onto the tread, locked my stubby boots in place, and drove my entire body weight downward. The crank arm swung straight down with a sharp metallic clatter. My giant skull whipped forward toward the asphalt. Did I let go? Unthinkable. I froze suspended upside down, clinging grimly to the pedal axle while the greasy chain gave a slow rattle above my ears. Why am I doing inverted leg presses under a bicycle frame? Utterly baffling. But retreat is weakness. I maintained my grip until the spinning pedal completely settled.