Midnight Mainframe Hack

I stalked across the creased fabric of the sofa cushion, zeroing in on the slumbering obsidian monolith known as the television remote. Shhh... total tactical stealth. I clambered up the rubberized keypad, paused dramatically over the massive red power button, and delivered a flying two-footed dropkick straight onto the silicone. Thwip. Across the dark room, the giant flat screen flashed to life with a brilliant, electric-blue standby glare. Did I just hack the mainframe? You bet I did. I instantly dropped into a low combat crouch right between the channel buttons, knife drawn, squinting into the neon light like an action hero waiting for his theme music.