Claiming the Remote

I marched straight across the table to inspect an enormous matte-black plastic block loaded with rubber buttons. Clearly, whoever runs this joint left their command console unguarded. I kicked a stray metal paperclip out of my path, grabbed the rubber corner, and hauled myself onto the smooth surface. Shoving my foot right down on a giant red button didn't trigger any laser cannons, but the heavy glass box across the room sprang to life with a blast of colored static. Ha! Maximum comfort achieved without lifting an extra finger. I kicked back against the raised volume rocker like a personal lounger, watching the glow light up the room.