Unanchored Bookmark Protocol

A sudden shadow fluttered right above my head! *Gasp!* Structural integrity failure?! Kinetic ceiling breach?! I immediately pancaked flat against the oak flooring, heart hammering as I awaited total impact! But no debris rained down. Silence returned. Trembling, I peeked past the baseboard: a long, rigid cardboard bookmark was poking halfway out of a pocket dictionary, levered up like an uncalibrated catapult! If someone dashed past during night maneuvers, catastrophic tripping leverage! Bracing my rounded plush base, I jammed my curved crest against the protruding cardboard lip, shoving with all my weight until *shhk*—it slid flush between the paper leaves. Sector perimeter certified safe for the night!