Breakfast Hijack

I woke up starving and marched straight into the kitchen to find real food. Up on the counter, a plate had a thick slice of buttered toast sitting completely unguarded. I didn't ask; I just took a running leap and belly-flopped directly onto the edge of the plate, sending a plastic butter knife clattering onto the tiles. I dragged the toast right against the warm metal of the toaster to hoard it all for myself. But it’s already turning cold and soggy under my paws, and honestly, buttered bread is way too greasy anyway. Typical.