A Grand Nocturnal Step

I marched back indoors and immediately spotted an immense leather dress shoe parked by the entrance, gaping open like a dry dock waiting for an admiral! Obviously, every seasoned captain needs to inspect the vessel's hull before lights out. I swung one long leg high over the stiff leather rim, planting my giant webbed foot straight onto the squishy cushioned insole. The whole shoe rocked on its polished heel, throwing me backward! Flinch? Utterly absurd! I wedged my other foot firmly across the knotted lace, threw my arms wide in an elegant low bow, and announced the vessel officially anchored for the night!