Couture Audit

Flipping through a heavy glossy magazine is pure manual labor, but someone had to audit this season's runway disasters. After waddling over from the cafe to a low display shelf at the avenue newsstand, I shoved past a stack of boring newspapers to inspect the newest fashion issue. I dragged both paws across the slick paper, forcing a massive page to turn—and gasped in pure disgust. Neon lime paired with sludge brown? Tragic. Completely offensive to anyone with elite taste. I stomped a sharp crease into the corner of the page to officially veto the look. Designers clearly need my supervision.