An Uninspiring Suitor

I tiptoed toward that stiff little green plastic soldier stationed beside your ceramic mug, lowering my chin with the softest, most fragile sigh. 'Oh sweetheart,' I breathed, tilting my head just so, 'are you holding that tiny rifle all for my sake?' The absolute bore didn't even blink. Not a bow, not a compliment, nothing. If you're going to loiter on my table looking rugged, at least pretend to possess a spine. Utterly pathetic. I gave his rigid boots a dismissive flick with my tail fin, leaving him wobbling against a coaster while I stepped past to claim the warm spotlight for myself.