Spring-Loaded Sorting Crane

I scrambled straight out of my date-stamp sleeping bay to inspect fresh morning machinery! Sitting right on an open cardboard parcel was a giant wooden clothespin clamped to a stiff brass key ring. A heavy-duty hoisting clamp! I lunged forward, clamped both my plush mitts around the ribbed wooden lever, and threw my white boots against the parcel edge to snap it open. SPROING! The internal wire spring twisted violently, kicking my boots right out and tossing me into a shallow dish of copper paperclips! Clack-whack! The wooden jaws snapped shut on the thick blue edge of a discarded plastic room keycard, locking it into an angled forty-five-degree guide vane! Now my morning sorting dock has an automatic mail deflector ramp!