Tactical Sofa Raid

I spotted a shiny red pen cap sitting halfway across the coffee table like a dropped supply crate, so naturally, I sprinted and slid on my knees across a slick glossy magazine. Total cinematic perfection until my foot snagged on a stray coaster. I took an undignified faceplant right into an empty ceramic coffee mug. It echoed loudly, but guess what? The pen cap is officially my new shoulder rocket launcher. A bruised plastic nose is just the price of tactical superiority, you know?