Gigan Hates Xiliens: Subjugating the Steel Clothespin

Xiliens? Sounds like another mythical fleet trying to claim my design schematics! I operate strictly under my own autonomy! Ejecting from the leather boot bunker, I scanned the perimeter for unauthorized transmission gear. Right by the runner rug sat a heavy chrome binder clip, jaws clamped tight like an alien sensor clamp. Prime target for debunking external controllers! I stepped in, wedged my left chainsaw forearm deep between its steel wire handles, and leveraged my weight down. Squeak! The black metal jaws flared wide open. I jammed an errant plastic bread tag into its mouth and released. Snap! The clip slammed shut on the decoy. Alien traps? Child's play. My combat autonomy remains unbreached!