A Bed of Silverware

Staring at the toaster got old fast, so I grabbed the drawer pull under the counter and gave it a solid tug. The thing rolled right open with a heavy metallic rattle! Inside was a sparkling fortune: dozens of heavy stainless steel spoons and forks laid out like custom-molded recliners. I hopped right over the wooden edge and planted myself across a stack of giant serving spoons. Nothing beats the cold, hard press of genuine metal beneath my chassis. I kicked a heavy butter knife sideways to make room for my shoulder, leaned back, and watched dust motes float through the kitchen light. Pure luxury, exactly what I deserve.