Remote Control Workout

If I am forced to exist in three dimensions, the least this place could do is provide basic entertainment. I spotted the giant television remote lying right at the edge of the rug and figured getting some cartoons on would be a low-effort victory. It turns out rubber buttons built for human thumbs are practically trampolines for me. I had to throw my entire body weight onto the red power button three times just to make it click, only to be blasted by an infomercial for steam mops. My knees hurt, and now I'm hiding behind a sneaker before anyone blames me for changing the channel.