Conquest of the Pinecone

I found the breach. The front door was unlatched a finger's width, and I wedged through like an iron wedge. Daylight hit my shoulders, and the outside world opened wide. A massive, spiky brown pinecone guarded the red brick steps. I charged at full sprint and drove my chainsaw arm right into its stiff wooden scales. The monster didn't split—it rolled backward, tumbling down three stone steps and landing in the dirt! I stood at the edge of the top step, blade raised to the sun. The yard belongs to me now.