Ration Assessment

The crossbar of the kitchen chair offered sufficient grip for standard curved hands. I hauled myself up the rungs one notch at a time, keeping three points of contact until I crested the woven fabric seat. Right in the center lay a rogue salted pretzel loop, remarkably intact. I planted both boots, hooked a hand under the curved edge, and snapped off a bite-sized piece with a brisk downward heave. A quick field test confirmed high salt content, crisp structural crunch, and zero immediate hazards. Pocketed a spare chunk for perimeter patrol. Solid tactical ration.